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Sunday, 18 August 2019

N is for Nursing









So I have finally finished the first year of Nursing and it has been a rollercoaster. Did I say rollercoaster? I meant a carnival ride where the screws have been loosened so you've been chucked into the sunset hoping to perhaps die peacefully for you to be actually slung into the ocean where you eventually drift ashore and are rushed to the nearest hospital for the ambulance to turn a corner way too sharply causing your body to fall out and down a cliffside and-. You get the picture.   I actually didn't go into the course with any expectations I just wanted to be a nurse. That's it. I say that but I also wanted to professionally be able to stick a needle in someone.

What I did learn...Not to toot my own horn, but I learnt that I am incredibly patient. I have had someone throw up down my uniform, I have had someone curse at me, hit me, etc etc and I haven't been as fazed by anything as I thought I should have been. Particularly death, even before we were shipped off to placement we had a whole session about death and I was met with a wary look when I explained I didn't feel anything. It's not like I was apathetic of their death but rather I wouldn't react. I personally believe in keeping my cool because as a family is grieving I think they need someone who is able to listen to their concerns. I have always thought death was inevitable so I always thought it was pointless to dwell too much on it.


I have enjoyed learning on the placement and I have finally found where I thrive the best.  I love relating to people and there's a satisfaction in knowing your patient perfectly to the point you can chime in during handover to correct nurses when they may have had wrong information about a patient. I am in my element on the wards I like there's always an opportunity to learn and everything seems so fascinating. I truly do learn something every day and I can't lie no matter how crappy the day the has been I can always say well at least I improved someone's life.

I've cried on my placement \particularly when a  patient had a go at me despite me doing my very best to support them and I don't why I took it so personally. Maybe it was because I knew from the bottom of my heart that I was being sincere and to be told otherwise sort of stung. 

Looking back now I wish I was braver in taking up more learning opportunities by the horns. I was really timid and took a long time to open up.  I think the fragility of mortality hit me the most on placements. One of my favourite patients in my first placements passed away, she always had kind words for me and told me with the utmost sincerity that she believed  I would be a wonderful nurse and it really gave me some sort of hope. I really miss her she was so warm and kind and even as she was very ill she had a wicked sense of humour. I don't know if I will continue to be a nurse when I finish but I want to work in health care. I loved  helping everyone and working closely with  them and working out what was best for them,

Although I wish I had time to get to understand the roles of the doctors and the physiotherapists. Although some of the doctors clearly looked down on us. Two doctors even laughed in my face when
I had asked a simple question. A valid question at that and I don't at all appreciate it. I may be the first year but I am not daft. Some nurses and sisters clearly didn't want to work with me because I was the first year,  in their eyes we were burdens and they used very opportunities to pass us off and I hated it. Fortunately, my mentors were kind and answered all my questions

All in all, it was a tiring but fun experience and I am excited for next year


By for now 

Emmy xx





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